When you have children, you want them to grow up to be grateful and thankful for the things they've gotten or the help people have given them. I actually notice this more with my daughter who has a special needs diet - gluten-free-to treat her celiac disease. Eating gluten-free isn't always easy, but if you don't deal with the diet on a semi-frequent basis, FIXING gluten-free foods is even more difficult. But I am very thankful when my friends or family try. They do it because they don't want my daughter to feel left out. But is she thankful for this extra effort? At what point does your child get to understand gratitude? Is it taught? Is it just inside them waiting to be nurtured out? Or does it come with maturity? -- It could be that wild card - option D -- All of the above.

"A Thank You Would Be Nice"

So I did a little research. One pediatric website discussed this very issue and found out from several experts the whens, whys and hows of children and gratitude. Julie A. Riess, Ph.D., the director of the Wimpfheimer Nursery school at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, New York said young children begin their lives being self-centered, they "don't understand the concept of gratitude in the way that adults do".


Is there a magical age when the light bulb finally goes off? Well you should look at later in elementary school years explains Neri Wallace, a child and family Therapist and director of the Heights Center for Adult and Child Development in Brooklyn. "Before age 7 children developmentally have difficulty understanding how other people feel or that their own actions affect others," says Wallace. "Empathy is a cornerstone of appreciation, and it takes years before children are able to think beyond their own wants and needs."

Nurturing the "Gratefullness" Inside Your Child

So how can you raise a grateful child? According to the article, some experts suggest, be grateful yourself! Thank your children for the things they do for you and tell them why it means so much to you. Also, praise them when they do express gratitude. Another website for families of preschool children shows more specific things you can do with kids of all ages; donate time to a children's charity, write thank you notes, and teach them the value of a dollar.

These suggestions may get the wheels turning in our minds about how our own kids (knowing their personality and temperament) would consume the advice we offer about gratitude and the examples we show. Maybe a hands-on approach is what I need for my nearly 10-year-old. Now I need to figure out how I could make it work.

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